TartanTart's Scribe

Hare – King Penguin assisted by Hash Dog The Dog's Bollocks.

After boasting how lucky we have always been with the dry weather on the Hashes we obviously tempted fate. We arrived at the venue in Tanjung Rhu and gathered in a small group standing in the drizzling rain.  Where was Hand Job with his awning? Typical when we actually need an awning he is not around to provide it. Those of us who stood under our umbrellas were ridiculed for being ‘’poofters”.  Seeing there was to be no shoe inspection Small Ball Cock was brave enough to arrive in his new luminous platform sole trainers.  A group photo was taken by Bugger Mee before we all set off hoping not to come back drenched to the core. 

The Dog's Bollocks led the way and immediately started chasing the cows just to get them irritated enough that we all had to gingerly walk past and hope they wouldn’t chase us in return for TDB’s unruly behaviour. 

As we entered the paddy fields the runners left on their own route and the walkers followed what we could see of the flooded path. Jumping between puddles and avoiding stepping on the masses of frogs that were scampering out of our way, was the procedure for most of the route until we came to the mangroves. Then the heavens opened and the umbrella holders had a smug grin as they looked at the sodden bunch desperately trying to reach home.

The last of the route was along the beach and at least the saturated sand was nice and hard to walk on.  Being a fair way ahead of the walking group I approached a gushing river. Remembering that I thought I heard the Hare stating that it was low tide so the river would be in our favour I entered the rapids cursing that no allowance had been taken in for the pouring rain and the force of the flow. Dreading that I would not make it through to the other side I finally reached dry ground only to hear Hashers calling to me come back. What??? The home site was up the river on the side I had just come from. Now I had to risk my life and cross the raging torrent of water again. Luckily I made it back with Bugger Me helping me to get up the bank.

A drenched lot sodden from head to toe had all made it home. Well all of us except Small Ball Cock who managed to keep his feet dry in his platform trainers. Most Hashers had wisely brought a change of clothing but poor French Tart had to endure dinner in her dripping attire.

 The meal was right next door at The Nest and we all enjoyed a feast of salad, toast with salsa, soup and pasta. 

On On

BC


Hash scribe rapport run 659. Date 02.08.2019


The Hares were Philip (Clit Eastwood) and Janet (Bearded Clit).

Before the run, The GM (King Penguin) announced that everyone would be punished unless they came up with a good reason they should not - the other Hashers would then vote this on.

The hares explained the hash route and off we went....

Long time after the last walker did arrived and we were going to form a circle we realized that Small Ball Cock and French Tart were missing. A rescue team was setup and just when they were ready to leave, we saw Small Ball Cock and French Tart in the horizon. Small Ball Cock carrying French Tart on his back. Skunky McCavern immediately ran to help SBC, but help was not accepted and SBC did carry FT to the circle. After a close investigation, we did not find any sweat on SBC. 

The circle was formed and a Scribe chosen...

The hares were given a down…down

The GM executed himself so that he could be the first executioner and then in voted Arse to be the first one to persuade her fellow Hashers why she should not be executed...She was voted down and executed herself - saving KP from executing his wife...

All the Hashers in turn provided excuses and were voted on. Black Label, French Tart, Tartan Tart (only women!) were saved!

SBC came up with the very good reason for not to be punish, by carrying FT, but was voted down and given a down…down for his setup.

Neither Tommy the Wank Engine nor Skunky McCavern offered excuses...

GM gave himself a down…down for forgetting to bring the list...but from memory….

 

Dates in history...

On this day in 219 - Hannibal won the Battle of Cannae

In 1776 on this day the US Declaration of Independence was signed...Skunky was asked to sing the anthem…

In 1937, the US criminalized Marijuana 

In 1939 Einstein persuaded Roosevelt to initiate the Manhattan Project and it has been downhill ever since.


Returners were 'down… down'

Hash turd given to Johnny Walker for being German and responsible for Einstein and the atom bomb and for suggesting that his wife should get it because she was the same colour!


Hash hymn


Supper at Gallo Nero. Delicious Italian pasta meal. Compliments to the chef Lorenzo 


Next Hash - Hare KP


On On TTWE