TartanTart's Scribe

Around 20 hashers,  3 visitors  and 2 hashdogs  met close to the India Temple north of Kuah.

Finally after waiting for the last comers and unfortunately no Larshole and Mettehari,  we started the hash 20 min late.

The circle was formed and the first hasher who was punished was Sodomiser, due to the ugly – many years used - white nylon stockings, which  covers his knees – I think he has got them free from a hooker    ,he said, he was wearing them - to cover his legs for mosquitoes and leeches. We will later be aware of this………… A beer was placed in his stockings and he had to drink out of the can.

Beside the road on a lush greeny place, we met. 

Black Label and Johnny Walker had made a nice  jungle run of app 6 km. – and it was really in the jungle - all the way. 3 hashers were wearing flippers and good luck to them 

The trails were very well marked with toilet paper.

On & on we fought our way through the jungle – very difficult to run due to narrow paths, we were just waiting to see Tarzan & Jane – flying in the lianas - around the next corner!!!

Animals, as the big red ants, obviously heard about our arrival, they crawled up and in our shoes. Leeches found their ways too - into our socks, and when we finally made our way out and met again in the circle, our legs were bleeding from all the drunken animals, which were drunk due to all the blood they had sucked from us!! 

Our new hasher Rod was named and got the name Hand Job.

One returner, Jack Off, was back, and King Penguin got the turd again due to his lack of ''on on'' and of course blamed his hashdog  which helped him running through the wilderness.

We had dinner at a Chinese restaurant Yee Har in Kuah. 

On & on

Hanneballs Letcher

Run 640 – Fish n Tits Scribe (sort of)

Welcomed by hares – Prick van Dyke & Coming From Behind with GM Small Ball Cock.

There were no new shoes so nobody had a soggy run or walk.

The route was delightful, very pretty but a sting in the tail! There were a lot more walkers than runners.

It got quite dark early, so a lot of the circle ‘performances’ were cut short; however, there was 1 virgin, and Seaman Stains – a grotty yachtie - was punished for not having a hash shirt. There were 3 visitors from all over the globe, and an attempt to punish SBC for not fulfilling an order for a hash towel, but he wriggled out of that - again! – we will get him one of these days!!

The snitches turned out to be Bugger Mee & Sodomiser who appeared to have HUGE imaginations. Consequently a few innocents were punished. Double Turds were awarded to Sodomiser & King Penguin for not relating info to Tartan Tart & Johnnie Walker about the run direction.

There was no hash hero, but it should have been Karsanogenic for coming straight to the hash from the ferry after driving all the way up from KL.

The hash hymn was delightfully performed by The Dog’s Bollocks, assisted by King Penguin. By then it was pretty dark.

We had a lovely meal at Coco’s in spite of a fair old storm. Strangely enough the last time PVD & CFB were hares and booked Coco’s we had a storm too. Funny!!!!

Next hash hares are Johnnie Walker and Black Label.

On on 

Fisn n Tits

Bugger Mee and Sodomiser stepped in to provide a great hash venue and hash trail at short notice. A really nice run on the flat around the paddy fields north west of Ulu Melaka, 6km and 7.9 km for the runners. Walkers were a bit tired but happy to have hashed another day. Hash Flash recorded the 639th run for digital posterity.

King Penguin and Arse arrived twenty minutes late, directly from the airport – (what commitment!)- but still hashed home ahead of most of the field!

Two visitors / returners / new to hashers joined in: “Originally Irish Anthony”, and multilingual “Aussie Rod”, both partaking in the Hash tradition of ritual drinking / humilation with adequate enthusiasm.

As usual, the GM avoided punishment despite multiple well founded allegations (How does he do it?). And, Accusers beware, you rarely shall succeed and the tables will be turned --- a frustrated Tartan Tart faltered and addressed the GM as “You Old Codger” instead of the advisable GM / My Lord, and of course ended up in the naughty chair.

MucArse mucked things up by repeatedly failing to use no hash names in the circle and was repeatedly doused by Larshole, and finally was awarded the Hash Turd for her perseverance.

“Originally Irish Anthony” ended up in the naughty chair, nobly acquiescing to the higher authority (is there a choice), despite protesting that he had already changed his clothes after the run. All take note – It’s not all over till the “Thin Feller” sings.

Hash Snitch, Karsanogenic, declared that King Penguin had been caught cheating, secreting frogs into his shoes, to add extra leap. King Penguin declared the inserts to be toads (ridiculous – who in their right mind would put toads in ones’ shoes). The protestation was totally ignored and sentence was executed in the normal unjudicial fashion.

Larshole the Executioner once more accepted his appointment, and yet again tested the matrimonial limits by saving the biggest soaking for Mrs Larshole (Mettehari). 

Sodomiser and Bugger Mee richly deserved their award as Hash Heroes.

On – On to Run 640.

Scribe: Karsanogenic