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TartanTart Moderator

Hash No 653 - Down by the river   compliments of “The Clits”

Location: Somewhere near the “pink Bridge” and park called Taman Sungai in the vicinity of Kuala Teriang.

It was a balmy evening following an afternoon of torrential rain – not good for the hares laying flour spots! We gathered shortly after 5pm in what looked like a car park with an interesting array of vintage cars plus orange cat to one side, and a meeting area peppered with squishy cow pats. The provider of which was standing nearby on a patch of grass quietly manufacturing more.

The turn out was good, visitors and virgins from afar, in fact plenty for the GM to get stuck into. In the opening circle an unsuspecting visitor was found to have new pink shoes from which she drank the first libation. “The Clits”, newbie hares were given some back up by Hand Job (route) and Rock Cock (transportation of gear). After a rambling dissertation by Clit Eastwood with the Bearded Clit looking on anxiously, we were off.

All went well along the river – the runners were off, and soon streaking ahead but not without some serious competition from visiting hashers. Those of us bringing up the rear were in fact able to absorb the surroundings, paddy fields and a couple of small groups of cows with calves which had the potential to provide a hash hazard. Fortunately, they left us to our sweaty pursuits.

The runners on this pastoral route logged up 6 kilometres, walkers 5 all very flat but not without frequent mud traps and lapses in flour spots. Clit Eastwood later assured us this was because the route was straight and therefore needed no marking until the turn. Bearded Clit was clearly mortified by this and did not take the excuse of conserving flour lightly.

After a kilometre or two of river frontage - a quiet kampong with most of the inhabitants probably at the busy Matsirat Ramadan market, which some of us, #Tweety Twat and Black Label went through by default appropriately laying the blame on the hares quest for flour conservation.

After a good hour on the road, the last of the hashers ambled back to base and the much-awaited circle. The visitors were all on form and clearly looking to wet their whistles. The Tartan Tart did a sterling job in dispensing ice water down the back of shirts, while Bearded Clit served up tankards of beer with relish.

Two virgins stepped eagerly forward, before the GM (Small Ball Cock) came to the realisation that there was no scribe. #Tweety Twat said “Oh” (apparently Chinese for yes) and the deed was done. Newbie #Tweety Twat was getting advice from MucArse when the GM brought her to book for nattering.  TT was sent to the chilly chair which she sunk into happily with MucArse mumbling some poor excuse about explaining the ropes.

Censure in the circle continued. The visitors from Petaling proved a jolly bunch and well up for any punishment on offer. Jaime came under the whip for running too fast and emasculating the male runners by pipping Rock Cock at the post. Rock Cock didn’t have a leg to stand on and was called to boot for not keeping his end up on behalf of the male species. In short there were no winners!

Two body pumped visitors were hauled over the coals for smoking within the inner sanctum with one incurring further punishment for indecent exposure. They clearly didn’t mind.

Further offences by visitors included cadging a bike ride back to base, and watering a plant en-route; indeed a heinous offence worthy of punishment .

But then it was the turn of Small Ball Cock to come under fire – no Hash rags! The ceremonial down, down was served. Down, it went but not fast enough to avoid the jug of ice delivered by Tartan Tart now in fine form. Somehow Johnny Walker managed to organise an offence and was soon happily enjoying the punishment – sadist !

In fact the more violations there were, the jollier it became, until time was called and the throng adjourned to the Shark Cage for a delicious dinner with French Fries to die for.

Thanks to the co-ordinators Bearded Clit and Clit Eastwood.


On On 


#Tweety Twat.


TartanTart Moderator

First a quick comment on Run 651 - Hares Tartan Tart and McArse


Return of the Scots - CLAN McTartArse. 

In short - brilliantly organised, executed and marked- a job as Prime Minister of Uk to sort Brexit - awaits.


Now on to a brief history of our favourite Friday time-waster......


History of the Hash House Harriers


Hashing originated in December 1938 in Selayang Quarry, Selangor, then in the federated Malay States (now Malaysia), when a group of British colonial officers and expatriates began meeting on Monday evenings to run, in a fashion patterned after the traditional British paper chase or "hare and hounds", to rid themselves of the excesses of the previous weekend. The original members included Albert Stephen (A.S.) Ignatius "G" Gispert, Cecil Lee, Frederick "Horse" Thomson, Ronald "Torch" Bennett, Eric Galvin, H.M. Doig, and John Woodrow. A. S. Gispert suggested the name "Hash House Harriers" after the Selangor Club Annex, where several of the original hashers lived and dined, known as the "Hash House".

Hashing died out during World War II shortly after the Invasion of Malaya, but was restarted in 1946 after the war by several of the original group, minus A. S. Gispert, who was killed on 11 February 1942 in the Japanese invasion of Singapore, an event commemorated by many chapters by an annual Gispert Memorial Run.

After World War II, in an attempt to reorganize in the city of Kuala Lumpur, they were informed by the Registrar of Societies that as a "group," they would require a constitution. Apart from the excitement of chasing the hare and finding the trail, harriers reaching the end of the trail would partake of beer, ginger beer and cigarettes.

The objectives of the Hash House Harriers as recorded on the club registration card dated 1950:

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To promote physical fitness among our members

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To get rid of weekend hangovers

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To acquire a good thirst and to satisfy it in beer

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To persuade the older members that they are not as old as they feel

In 1962, Ian Cumming founded the second chapter in Singapore. The idea spread through the Far East and the South Pacific, Europe, and North America, expanding rapidly during the mid-1970s. Cumming was widely credited with bringing hashing to the United States; he lived outside of New York City, where he continued to hash until his death on August 21, 2015.

At present, there are almost two thousand chapters in all parts of the world, with members distributing newsletters, directories, and magazines and organizing regional and world hashing events. As of 2003, there are even two organized chapters operating in Antarctica.

SocialisingEdit

The end of a trail is an opportunity to socialise, have a drink and observe any traditions of the individual chapter.  When the hash officially ends, many members may continue socialising at an "on-after", "on-down", "on-on-on", "apres", or "hash bash", an event held at a nearby house, pub, or restaurant.

CirclesEdit

Most hash events end with a group gathering known as the "circle", or less commonly as "religion". Led by chapter leadership, the circle provides a time to socialise, sing drinking songs recognize individuals, formally name members, or inform the group of pertinent news or upcoming events. Circles may be led by the chapter grandmaster, the group's religious advisor, or by a committee. Impromptu input is welcome and solicited.

Down-downsEdit

A "down-down" is a means of punishing, rewarding, or merely recognizing an individual for any action or behaviour according to the customs or whims of the group. Generally, the individual in question is asked to consume without pause the contents of his or her drinking vessel or risk pouring the remaining contents on his or her head. Individuals may be recognized for outstanding service, or for their status as a visitor or newcomer. Down-downs also serve as punishment for misdemeanours real, imagined, or blatantly made up. Such transgressions may include: failing to stop at the beer check, pointing with a finger, or the use of real names. Commonly, hashers who wear new shoes to an event can be required to drink from that shoe.

Many chapters include an ice seat or throne as part of the down-down ceremony. Those who are to consume a down-down sit on a large block of ice while they await the completion of the down-down song. If the offence that resulted in the down-down is particularly egregious, the hasher may be subjected to a long song with many verses.

Hash namesEdit

In most chapters, the use of real names during an event is discouraged. Members are typically given a "hash name," usually in deference to a particularly notorious escapade, a personality trait, or their physical appearance. In some chapters the name must be earned – that is, hashers are not named until they've done something outstanding, unusual, or stupid enough to warrant a name. In other chapters the process is more mechanical and hashers are named after completing a certain number of events (5–10 being the most common).

Some chapters focus on "family-friendly" names (for example: Lost My Way); others focus on names filled with innuendo (for example: Purple Vein); and some go out of their way to make the name as bawdy, offensive, or politically incorrect as possible.

Those hashers who have not been named are generally referred to as "Just (Name)", "No Name (Name)" (e.g., "No Name John") or simply Virgin.

Hashers are not permitted to give themselves nicknames due to the obvious conflict of interest. Hashers who do so are often renamed by the chapter at the earliest opportunity and with a more offensive name. Similarly, hashers who do get named and don't like their name may end up being renamed by their chapter, the members of whom may strive to give the complaining hasher an even more offensive or inappropriate name.

New hashers verbally in pursuit of an obviously offensive or inappropriate name may intentionally be given a weaker name, such as "Freckles".


King Penguin