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Hash No 656  Langkawi Hash House Harriers


A somewhat depleted mob, but nonetheless intimate, assembled, other end of the island this time, at Kisap for a run organised by Johnny Walker and Black Label.

The effervescent GM, Karsanogenic, fabricated World Orgasm day (although he swore blind his research had shown this to be) to start things off with a bang. Note we all know certain activities can make you go blind.

 Added to which he came up with it being the day of the world’s ugliest dog. Hash Kash (Hash dog) slunk off at this point!

Without much more ado the hares were called into the centre and Black Label declared it was indeed International World Yoga day, and what better way to celebrate than to turn a bunch of Hashers into pretzels under the pretence of a warm up.

Warm up complete, Johnny Walker with much gesticulation gave a brief description of the route noting there were three checks.

The route through a rubber plantation, and along the mangroves was well suited to the warm languorous early evening. The midway point afforded a stunning view of the river confluence and a limestone bluff. Those on the return from this point encouragingly described it to keep those still heading out on track. 

The return route offered up many interesting views of fishing boats high and sort of dry on the mud flats of the mangroves. The comings and goings of the fleet obviously very dependant on the tides.

The pack was by now stretched out –several runners probably back and carousing while those of us enjoying the scenery took in a herd of cows munching happily among the rubber trees. Said cows later took an interest in Hash Kash and reportedly followed her up the road.

The GM was quick to call the circle, sadly no virgins and only one “executionable” returnee – Thomas The Wank Engine. Lin bin Defuzzed waved her medical certificate, so was exempted!

Prick Van Dyke brought a devilish grin to the role of executioner embracing the role to such an extent that he had to be restrained from emptying the entire ice water bin over defaulters. Undeterred he grabbed two jugs and delivered a double whammy when called upon.

It being a small group the GM dug deep and drew our attention to the auspicious date June 21 the summer solstice (longest day in N hemisphere) an event celebrated by the druids whose ritual included children forming a circle by scattering petals or blowing bubbles. Blessings by a fire eater and someone sprinkling participants with water from the Chalice Well followed. Apparently all very joyful and informal.

This was given a Hash twist by inviting the Celts; TartanTart, Tweety Twat and MucArse into the centre. Seeing as it coincided with full moon, thoughts of naked dancing crossed their minds. However; the sprinkling of icy water and ice cubes (could have been a blessing in disguise for those in the middle) by the executioner banished this thought.

Then it was the turn of Rock Cock and Tweety Twat (in for a second round) for not wearing hash rags. Rock Cock in a glitzy Langkawi singlet , and Tweety Twat in camo green.

Next up was a gleeful snitch, the Tartan Tart, dobbing in her running companions for taking short cuts. This saw Rock Cock again, Prick Van Dyke and Johnny Walker in the middle. Coming From Behind took up the jugs and doused the dastardly dudes.

The GM took a dousing for having what looked like skid marks on his towel indicating he may have skived off track to do the unmentionable in the rubber plantation – not fine English manners on a Hash.

Rock Cock and Prick Van Dyke noted for the records that on arrival at base the beers were under lock and key in the car. Tartan Tart seconded this as it had been noted in the past. Into the centre went Johnny Walker and Black Label.

It was all over bar the shouting when Tartan Tart stepped up to the mark again and declared Johnny Walker to be renamed Johnny Stalker for hanging around the mangroves near the viewpoint. He of course denied the charge saying he was only ensuring everyone was on the right track.

As the sun went down and the sky turned pink happy Hashers adjourned to the Langkawi Rainbow restaurant for a Chinese dinner, where festivities at the round table continued in line with those of the summer solstice. On, on! 

Thanks to Johnny Walker and Black Label for a hash well run.

Thanks to Google for info on Druids celebrating the summer solstice.


On on


Tweety Twat